Another Texas Teena Pool Party…I Know…I Know

Well, we threw together another Texas style pool party and by Texas style I mean by the end of the night there was an undisclosed woman… from Texas, wet humping me with her top pulled up, a bud light in her free hand on a lounge chair like I owed her money. And that was just the Friday night pre party, you know, we was just figuring out seating and where to put the chinese lanterns and stuff, Teena’s a really gifted decorator, me I just hand her bud lights and occasionally offer my lap as a spindle. It’s a living.Teena graduated from friend to paramour, good for her. Enjoy the ride T. Enjoy the ride.

Made some new friends at the last pool party, lots actually. That was nice. We had only two repeat customers this time. My two favorite though.

Ty and Paula, or it could be Tai and Paula, or even Thai and Paula, I didn’t ask Tai the spelling I always pictured him a Tai. You’d have to see him. But, Tai and Paula are special, very sensitive people, I know special when I see it and these two are special….love me some Tai and Paula…Paula reads my blog sometimes, when she’s not just laying around being beautiful, you should see her, she is one lovely piece of work, inside and out, it’s a full time job I’m sure…woof woof.

I’m going to have to make this like a three parter cause there’s soooo much more to tell and right now it’s Sunday morning and I’m working on a recovery margarita, I wish there was something I could give to the ol’ African soup bone cause that’s where all the real damage occured this weekend.

Tai actually has real African soup bone, he’s a tall proud black man….Like I say, I love me some Tai and Paula.

Paula, wanted you to read this one…Pedro

This is gettin’ ugly, I gotta drive little Panchito to the airport in a couple of days. I’m running out of Febreze. No more houseguests. Chickie babe slumber parties maybe, but, nothing non reciprocative. I’m looking for “quid quo pro” not, take me out to dinner every night til Pedro’s out of dough.

Yeah, speaking of dough, I can say with candid authority as someone being reluctantly dragged from my strict primal diet, that even casual consumption of Little Caesars “hot n now” pepperoni will create a condition known around the Pedro Compound as “You never poop right again”

You don’t want to know what we do with the breadsticks…that one I take to the grave. Got me off the dating sites for a few days. Glass half full part.

I’m dreaming of a white neighbor…just like the ones I used to have.

Actually, back home I bought a house right off of Martin Luther King Dr. They don’t name a street that unless it’s likely to pass in a popular referendum within a close proximity. That’s where I learned that people are people, good lesson to learn. It’s never too late. You ought to see my girls jump rope and braid hair.

I used to set up a Pokemon sales distribution center, right in the street in front of the house on a card table. I used the neighborhood kids for everything, sales, security, card grading services, everything, it looked like the effin’ United Nations in front of my house every weekend. Good times. Good times

Yep, people are people.

That’s what I found out…………………………………..Pedro

Lost Love Ghost Ranch

Allright, I’m okay now. It’s three o’ clock in the morning and I can’t sleep. Big date tomorrow. I’m pushing the envelope once again. Totally new territory for me. You guys should try it. trust me it takes a life long pursuit of pushing the barrier to be able to come up with new material everyday. What was that old Chinese saying..”May you live in interesting times”. It was meant as a threat. Time for some threat assessment. I’m at Def Com 7. “Danger Will Robinson” If my times get any more interesting you’ll hear a loud “pop” and won’t nothin’ be left but a cloud of “Pedro” confetti.

And the smell of depleted ozone and triple sec.

I was a margarita guy for a while. Well, more than a while, but, thanks for asking… I’m okay now.

Enrique and I went out for dinner last night. Bubba to the layman. But, while he’s here in the land of dead ancestors and fallen conquistadores it’s Enrique, you know, out of respect. I don’t poke fun, this is a special place. it’s my place. Special people too. Not “little yellow bus” special, real special, I know it when I see it. Go somewhere else for a while. You’ll see.

Anyhow. Dinner. What can I say. It was the place with the killer burgers and the guy runnin’ around in the red chicken outfit shaking hands and carrying on. Fire that dude and get somebody to make sure Pedros food comes out hot that’s what I say. It’s like when you get your car fixed at a repair shop. they are so intent on callin’ you at work and scaring the crap out of you to facilitate the rip off that they forget to fix what you brought it in for. I was there for hot food, not to watch a methhead in a birdie suit do a nine minute rain dance.

But…ahh.. anyhow, yeah, you put the word out that you have a “bottomless fries” policy you get some folks in there that are dedicating to maintaining their “fighting weight” if ya know what I mean. You know, the primal diet works gang. I’m 54 years old and I look like an effin’ middle weight. I’m a bad ass. But, you gotta eat right. And work on your spinning back fist.

Back to Spanish women though. That’s a topic I know something about. Been with two of them. Second one even prettier than the first. Doesn’t seem possible does it. She got tired of my ass too. Too much of a good thing I suppose. Soup bone not withstanding. I got a thing for them. They gotta have what I call the “Spanish mouth ” though, kinda that mean, hard look with way too many teeth. That’s what I like. I know. And big dark eyes.

And if you’re really lucky, one morning you’ll get up and they’ll be standing in the kitchen barefoot in a giant tee shirt and nothing else making homemade tortillas with their Grandmothers “bolillo”.

Now I’m gettin’ sad again.

I gotta go……………………………………………………….P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m30djjsEYQY&list=RD02Ka0homb4

 

Dial 1-800-Pedro

More video game distractions tonight I’m afraid. I guess this kid don’t realize this stuff pays the bills, I need to concentrate. I can afford to drift off a little at work , I’m just workin’ with buzz saws and Sequoia augers and stuff, I can get by with a plastic forearm, but if it starts gettin’ around that I ain’t funny no more, that I can’t live with. That’s where the P man draws the line, that’s my reputation.

Went out and got Thai food tonight. Thai Orchid on Central…jealous much…that’s what I thought. I get a price break too on account of my Karate training and involvement with the displaced orphan relief fund. They leave a seventeen year old orphan at my apartment every thursday and I help her get back on her feet. That’s the kinda guy I am, philanthropic.

How many effin’ zombies is this kid gonna kill tonight….they don’t go quietly….da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da zing..pluck..zip..ahhhhhhhh

No, but really, I had the yellow curry and some Wen Soon…that’s silver noodles…. to the uninitiated. It was a bit of a hostage situation getting the check though. I hate that. I had to get somewhat ugly just to get outta that place, then I felt bad and over tipped. I never do that..get mad in restaurants..I always over tip. I’m for the working girl…in a big way.

Just got one last “men seeking women” knot to tie up then I’m free. I can’t walk away till everybody’s happy, no hard feelings, no hurt, no pain. I don’t like it myself so I don’t dish it out. You would not believe the great lengths that I have been through to be nice. To be a gentleman. I guess it’ll pay off at some point just not in a currency that smells like Jennifer Lopez obviously.

And you know whats funny about Thai food? Every word that describes a chile or pepper or something hot is a also synonymous with some sort of male genitalia in English…Thai chili relish for example is Prik Dong…I didn’t order it….I get enough static asking for some take out soup bone.

You guys know I love ya….be good ………………Tio Pedro

 

Me n Teener

I’m kinda startin’ to dig this chick…white woman too. We go out on Fridays and Saturdays and watch live music sometimes…If they play a Fleetwood Mac song she’ll always chime in and say  something like “that broad sounds just like Grace Slick”…”I told ya they was good Pedro..told ya.”

I’m not gonna tell her. Like I said, I’m starting to dig this chick. That’s just the kinda colored man I am.

Shoot me.

I am definitely gettin’ a little sweet on her though. Feels pretty good.

Update: had to let ol’ Teener go…she’s had a gastric bypass and is kinda just learning how to be a desirable woman again…you know after years of bein’ heavy, then, all of a sudden you’re sexy…it has unintended consequences, but, just out of self preservation I had to let her go…She’s out trying out the new cocoon and I’m looking for the next Mrs. Pedro.

I really liked her though..she’ll be missed.

Pedro does Broadway…the junkyard on Broadway

Effed up my 4X4 last weekend after Teena’s pool party, the next day, not that night. That night was a slumber party… member. G rated. Taking things slow. Anyhow, really screwed up my little pickup doing burn outs and brodies for the chiquitas out in front of the Caravan East. You know the place. And, until I busted that tie rod anchor off I was quite the crowd pleaser. Some nights it just don’t pay to be me. Lupe Calderon gave me a ride back to my place…also G rated….I may be losing some of the legendary Pedro charm.

Well, as it turns out Lupe has this cousin that works at the Ace auto salvage yard out there on Broadway and he hooked me up with some salvage parts and I’m about eighty percent back on the road as of this printing. Nice.

Well, you guys take care. I’m going to try to figure out how to remove an inner tie rod with my 19 dollar Stanley tool set and an old pack of Chicklets I swiped from Ernesto out at the junk yard.

Party reflections and affiliations…poolside predation and the Pedro magic

God, what a weekend, I mean it, I gotta dry out…sheeeesh…Texas Teena’s pool party..don’t even get me started…seriously, I had fun, but, there was like this stalker couple that I think wanted to make a lampshade out of my skin, or at the very least dissolve the fleshy parts of my tissue in a big blue effing vat…I’m pretty sure..I’m dumb about women, but, not that kind of stuff.

Fun though…even the fifteen shots of Wild Turkey..I’ll live..it’s what I do.

Normally, I don’t drink much, but, in a party setting ol’ Teena can be quite persuasive…repeatedly.

Teener lost her keys, it was determined that as a white man pretending to be a brown man I would be the best choice for forced re-entry…her sliding glass door. I’m a forced entry guy, don’t get me wrong the ol’ African Soup Bone has in the past encountered some mighty fierce resistance, believe me. I’m just not a second story man. If you know what I mean.

I slept over. Slept. Like a baby. What I wouldn’t give to be a baby again…I deserve another chance.

I demand another chance.